The countdown has begun, the contract is signed, the dates are in the calendar. I’m going to Greece!
It’s crazy to think that, around about a year ago, I was sat in a bar in Hamburg with a friend answering the question:
“What would you do if you weren’t an engineer?”
With
“I would go and sail flotillas.”
“… What’s stopping you?” he asked.
Well, nothing now! In just about a month’s time, I’ll be doing exactly that.
I’ve done a lot of thinking about how far I’ve come in just one short year. How much my life has completely changed. How much better able I am to cope with feelings of sadness and depression; and how infrequent those times now occur!
That said, there have been times over the last few months when I’ve found myself longing to get back into a routine office job. To have the freedoms that life provides; whether that’s an impromptu meet-up with a friend after work, a big night out on a Friday with mates, or just the feeling of having enough money coming in every month.
Then, I find myself thinking about what I’ve had the chance to do now that I’ve taken a break from that life. I may not have that money coming in anymore, but I’ve converted most of what I did have into a professional sailing qualification. I’ve been able to take a job in a local hotel and see if I have what it takes to work in a non-office environment (turns out I do!). Best of all, I’ve had the freedom to say “yes” when I’m asked if I’m free to help a friend move his boat and prep it for coming out of the water for maintenance.
The helpful upshot of this is that I’ve been able to put my experience with depression into a wider context. A large part of my depression had to do with my job. There were too many things I didn’t like about it, some of which actively made me sad, and no matter how much I enjoyed travelling with work I couldn’t get over the bits I disliked. In my current job there are also things I don’t like, but they are outweighed by the things that I enjoy – or even make me happy!
So, as people often say, it’s about striking a balance. What I’m realising now is that the thing that turned me from just another person who hates their job to someone with acute depression was the fact that I believed that there was no way for me to find that balance. I felt trapped.
Well, I’m not trapped anymore.
Next stop: Lefkas.
A Briton Abroad 